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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

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What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and kisses!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Yes, since they're very scent-imental! 

A man takes his sweetheart to a fancy restaurant for a special Valentine’s dinner, but the head waiter refuses to seat him without a tie. Undaunted, the man retreats to his car to search for a tie. To his dismay he cannot find a tie or even anything that might resemble a tie. Finally, in desperation he grabs a pair of jumper cables, wraps them around his neck, and ties them under his shirt collar in some semblance of a tie. He returns to the restaurant, smiles at his sweetheart, and asks the waiter to please seat them.  The head waiter stares at him for some time, and finally says, "OK, I’ll seat you; just don't start anything!"  

Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?     A: Because it's all heart.
Q: What did the letter say to the stamp?     A: You send me.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?     A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?     A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?     A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favorite song?     A: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear
Q: What does an envelope say when you lick it?     A: Nothing, it shuts up.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?     A: Antelope.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?     A: You turn me on.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?     A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?     A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?     A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What do you call it when everybody goes to the post office at the same time?     A: stamp-ede!

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